Something has been bothering me lately and all signs are pointing to a rant and a rave about it. I don’t know what spurred these crazy thoughts in my head, but as of late I have been thinking about how people talk trash about others behind their backs and/or put other people down. I am not going to say that I am completely innocent, but for the most part I try to live my life by the golden rule. The only thing that will push me over the edge is if I (or someone that I love) have been betrayed or treated poorly over and over and over again. It is only then that I will have a few colorful words to say about someone.
I suppose this isn’t so much about talking about others behind their backs as it is about talking poorly about or personally attacking others in order to make a point (although they are, arguably, related practices). I recently read an internet article about Megan Fox’s interviews with Esquire and Elle for the magazines' June 2009 issues. In her respective interviews, she not only calls out Scarlett Johansson, but also Rob Pattinson and Zac Effron in order to make her points. In reference to Scarlett Johansson Fox states, “I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against… but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've ever learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard…” She further uses Pattinson and Effron to illustrate her distaste in men with fluffy hair and, essentially, metro sexual style.
My question is: why do people have to throw others under the bus? (I realize the incongruity here… I am using someone as an example to make my own point, but please understand that I am not putting anyone down in the process – Megan Fox is drop dead gorgeous and I think it is awesome that she is so outspoken). It is cool that people have opinions and know what they like and dislike, but it is not necessary to speak poorly about people in order to communicate these opinions and preferences. The American Idol results are a prime example of this as well. While Kris Allen is season eight’s winner, blogs-a-plenty are dissing him in favor of Adam Lambert. It’s great that people are Adam Lambert fans, but give me a break! Do people really need to bash Kris Allen in order to effectively express devotion to Adam Lambert? Do people really need to bash anyone in order to express devotion to someone else? Politics aside, I certainly don’t think so…
Well, lo and behold the infinite wisdom in the form of my daily calendar at work. Friday, May 22, 2009 reads, “to be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce only friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities.” Thank you Dalai Lama. My sentiments exactly…
I am not trying to say that I am perfect, because goodness knows that I am not. My wonderful husband thinks that I am a perfectionist and hold others to a standard that is too high (er, way too high). I disagree (please, have you seen our dirty base boards and spots of paint on our ceilings that still haven’t been attended to? I can assure you, I am no perfectionist). I just think it would be ideal to practice common courtesy once in a while.
