Dear Angry Contractor:
Thank you for adding some humor to my day. Most work days go by without the opportunity for uproarious laughter. Yet today, you have graced me with the distinct pleasure of receiving your irate phone call. Had you not called, my day would have been uneventful and rather monotonous, but you decided to yell at me and treat me like an idiot and for that I am thankful.
In the future, if you are going to be mean to me I would appreciate a little name calling. 'Ma’am' isn’t quite up to par with what the other contractors call me. Although a terse 'ma’am' makes me snicker, it’s true, a 'stupid bitch' or a 'fucking retard' would brighten my day more effectively. You did succeed in the realm of fit-throwing, however. Your delivery was so spot-on that one would guess you are not new to temper tantrums.
Thanks once again for making me smile today. There was no way for you to know that I was laughing on the inside.
Yours Truly,
Your Friendly Labor Compliance Officer
PS: The I-am-going-to-tell-on-you technique is not new, but very well received. I wholeheartedly enjoy your attempts at trying to get me in trouble for doing my job.
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