The Ugly Side of Being a Woman

I was introduced to the ugly side of being a woman when I was sixteen years old. Happy to be working at my first job, I took my responsibilities as a cashier at a big box retailer seriously. I wasn’t one of those kids who stands around and chit-chats with her co-workers about wildly inappropriate topics on the sales floor. Rather, I did my best to provide the best customer service that I could and during the down time I made sure to straighten the aisles and make sure that the lanes were appropriately zoned. I showed up on time, and I always did what I was told. Working was a big responsibility, and I took that responsibility seriously.

That is why, being a self-proclaimed model employee, it surprised me when the cashier supervisor approached me during a shift one afternoon. “When your line dies down,” she said, “turn your light off. I need to talk to you." Naturally, I was a bit nervous, but I continued serving the “guests” in a “fast, fun, and friendly” manner until there were no more in sight. At the cashier supervisor’s request, I turned my light off and signaled to her that I was ready. My cashier supervisor approached and asked that I step outside my register terminal. She instructed me to put my arms straight down the length of my sides. I did exactly as I was told. “Oh, that’s fine,” she said. Clueless about the exercise at the time, she proceeded to tell me that, “a lot of the women have been complaining about your skirt."

As it turns out, she was seeing if my khaki skirt complied with the dress code. The ol’ fingertip length rule, if you will. Perhaps the most perplexing part about this is the idea that so many women had a problem with MY skirt. Yes, ADULT women took issue with a garment that I was wearing.

Even in high school, while being surrounded by teenage girls, this was a good introduction to HSGM (the phenomenon that is: High School Girl Mentality). This is a way of thinking that some women never escape and, for whatever reason, there is a strange propensity for grown women to gravitate towards it. This immature, irrational, and insecure way of life is marked by several characteristics.

Image courtesy of Migraine Chick

1. Taking issue with another woman’s appearance: This can come in many forms. Someone’s skirt length, girly makeup, or high heels can be problematic for women with HSGM. The reverse can be true too. Dress too conservatively and you might be on the chopping block.
2. Passing judgment on another woman based on her appearance: It doesn’t just end with noticing that another woman’s purse matches her shirt or that she has highlights. If you get your hair professionally done then you must be stuck up. If your boobs are big you must be a slut. If your hair is too short then you must be gay. If you wear makeup then you are just a typical valley girl. If you are skinny then you are a bitch.
3. Lacking the ability to take joy in other women: This sounds quite vague, but there are really many facets to it. When you can’t be happy for another female’s accomplishments or you mysteriously feign illnesses whenever women close to you are in the limelight (for example, a bridal shower, bachelorette party, baby shower, birthday celebration, wedding…) you probably suffer from HSGM.
4. Relishing in another woman’s misfortunes: Ah, yes, some women may be secretly excited when their sister gets divorced or upon hearing that their friend got laid off from a high paying job.
Don't these traits sound ridiculously silly? What is even sillier is that real women actually act this way. We don't need to concern ourselves with what someone else is wearing or how another women carries herself. This may be acceptable behavior is high school, but it is harder to understand when any women over the age of 18 acts this way. Besides, the Dalai Lama put it best when he said, "to be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else." Hallelujah and amen.