Bitter is the New Black

Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass, or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office, a memoir by Jen Lancaster, documents the author’s experience in the recession after 9/11. Lancaster goes from a high-power, high salary position working for a dot-com corporation to standing in line at the unemployment office.  

I’ve had Bitter is the New Black on my to-read list for some time now. Judging by the subtitle, I thought it would be a funny and lighthearted read. As I started reading, though, I was completely horrified. Lancaster comes across as a complete bitch. I guess the subtitle suggests as much, but wow. When she says condescending, egomaniacal, and self-centered, she really means it. Within the first hundred pages or so, we’re tortured by her repulsively insensitive inner dialogue and her tendency to say whatever's on her mind. I particularly like how Lancaster handles herself at the airport when she feels like everyone is eavesdropping on her conversation:

"A sweaty fat man with an orange flowered vinyl bag has moved next to us to hear better. I whirl around to face him. 'Yo, Marlon Brando, yeah, with the ugly carry-on, move along. Also? Burn that bag when you get home.' I see an older woman with stop sign red hair pretending to tie her shoes. Perhaps if they weren't LOAFERS her ruse would be more credible. 'And you, Red? Aren't you old enough to know better? FYI, a six-dollar box of hair color is NOT a bargain...'"

Apparently, some people are a big fan of Lancaster’s blatant disregard for common courtesy.

On goodreads.com a reviewer writes, "I loved the author and rooted for her the whole time I read the book. I LOVE that she's a bitch and says things often without considering how it's going to make others feel..."

I find the idea that people are excited by verbal diarrhea to be completely strange. The whole, “I’m just being honest" thing will never make sense to me. It’s like, “Hey! It’s okay that I’m a complete asshole, because at least I’m being honest!” A lot of the reviews that I've read refer to Lancaster as "real" or "authentic." I've also read reviews that say, "People only call Lancaster a bitch because she's a woman" and, "She's just saying what everyone else is thinking." Since everyone loves that Lancaster is so honest, readers should be honest with themselves. People call her a bitch because she is one. There's nothing real or authentic about being rude and condescending and cutting other people down. 

And then I was ready to put the book down for good when she started running her mouth about people who claim unemployment benefits. After getting laid off, Lancaster’s boyfriend asks her if she is going to file for unemployment. She responds, “I’m not a deadbeat. I’m not about to suck on the government’s teat.” She goes on to say that the Republican party would disown her if she was on unemployment. The reader learns that she is completely ignorant to the fact that workers pay into unemployment insurance by way of payroll deduction. Lancaster, surprised by this revelation from her boyfriend asks, “You’re saying it’s not welfare?” Although I think Lancaster's misconception about unemployment is shared by many, it's no excuse. Rather than judge and call other people names, learn how the system works or just keep your mouth shut.  

I had to talk myself into continuing reading at this point. Part of me didn’t want to have anything to do with supporting a complete asshole. The other part of me, however, the part that won out, hoped that by the end of the book Lancaster would be a changed woman. I didn’t hold my breath, though.

Lancaster struggles for over a year trying to find a new job, losing her beloved apartment, and even her health insurance. She, for the most part, learns to laugh at herself instead of others. I found myself snickering as she relived her experience temping as an administrative assistant. She's treated like a complete moron despite her education and experience, but it's par for the course for temps. Her experience with unemployment is completely relevant to what is going on right now. If people can't relate to the first half of the book, the second half may very well ring true. Unemployment and even underemployment is a bitch, and this book is a great lesson on why people who live inside bubbles shouldn't judge. I'd like to believe that this was Lancaster's intent all along...