Downtown, Everything's Waiting for You

I've had the opportunity to work downtown on a special project for a month, and I'm totally loving it. It's not the job, per se, that has me excited. I realize I just like being downtown. I can eat outside for goodness sakes! Under trees! At the state capitol! I can even walk to the Sacramento Public Library on my lunch break. The convenience! The freedom! 

I like sitting on the benches outside the capitol. You never know what you'll see. The first day that I ate my lunch there I was joined by a man who talked to himself. It was cool and a bit scary. I was pretty much done eating by the time he arrived, but I was determined to get some reading in before I had to go back to work. I drew my book from my purse and began reading. Distracted and frightened by this man, I kept reading the same lines over and over. I grew more leery by the second until I finally decided I couldn't bring myself to stay any longer. I exaggeratedly looked at the time on my cell phone to imply that my lunch break was over, packed up my belongings and hit the road. I didn't want to hurt his feelings by leaving so quickly after he sat down, but I also didn't want him to kill me. Sometimes I just like to err on the side of caution.

Aside from fleeing from strangers, I also like to watch the tourists. Who knew that people come to Sacramento to sightsee, but it's true; their backpacks and cameras give it away. Also, the bus with "Senior Tours" plastered across the side is a tell-tale sign. I want to ask them if they know that the Golden Gate Bridge is only an hour and a half away. No matter the type of tourist, though, they always do the same thing. They look at the capitol from afar with their chin in the air. They're amazed at how tall the building is and will either drop their jaw, smile or both. They'll take a picture of the capitol and then turn around and ask someone to take a picture of them standing in front of it. If they're with a group they'll ask a kind stranger to take a picture of the group with the building in the background. It doesn't fail.

I also feel a bit proud being downtown. I've been watching the A & E show Obsessed on Netflix for a while. Each episode of Obsessed highlights two people with different forms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. One episode deals with a guy suffering from agoraphobia. He has major anxiety whenever he leaves his comfort zone. His comfort zone, or safe zone, includes his apartment and the neighborhood he lives in. Watching his story, I realized that his symptoms sounded familiar. I've been known to have anxiety. I've dealt with it on and off, and in many forms, since I was in fifth grade. When I was in my early twenties I remember having anxiety when I was too far from home. Downtown fell into the "too far" category. I remember being downtown with my friend's mom to take photos of a protest at the capitol, and I was completely anxious. I was on unfamiliar grounds, and I just wanted to escape.  

Now, sitting on the benches at the capitol, I realize I am completely at peace downtown. And I'm liking it, so take that 22-year old self. I guess good things really do happen in your 30s.