I was with my last company for seven years. One thing that I had forgotten was how it felt to be the new person. There's that slightly nervous, somewhat uncomfortable feeling you get when you're new to an organization. You don't know the people, you're not familiar with how the company operates, and you aren't sure if you're allowed to hang stuff on your office walls or if you have to ask someone to do it for you. This week I thought back to how it felt to move to California when I was in the third grade. Back then, I had the same feelings. Imagine being in a new school, in a new town, where there's fog and seagulls and multiplication tables, and everything is a great departure from what you're used to. In Arizona there's heat and clear skies and cactus. I truly felt like the odd man out in Sacramento. Albeit, my third grade transition was much more difficult and much more emotional; I cried a lot and I constantly wanted to be by my mom's side. This time, I still want to be by my mom's side, but I have the understanding that everything gets better. Everything gets easier. Everything gets more familiar and routine.
Starting something new has made me realize that as great as I thought I was with change, I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty adaptable. I can go with the flow and make the best of it. The feelings associated with the change are what surprised me. Sure, I knew I'd be nervous, but the uncomfortableness of it all caught me off guard. I realize now that I'm good with little changes, but sweeping, drastic changes probably aren't my forte. The challenge is to get over the new girl hump. And I can do it. It's just a matter of time, and I'm glad that I know that.
(Random fact: Right now, your blog is saying that if I like this post, I might also like your post about Taverns. Your new job anxiety = loose meat sandwiches. Now you know).
ReplyDeleteWhen I changed companies a little over two years ago, I had full-blown crying fits as soon as I'd get home for the first week. In fact, the first Friday at this job, we drove to work (this is a major thing, it's expensive-and-a-half to park near our old office in SF) and after work, drove straight to a hotel in Santa Cruz for the weekend. I had to decompress in a major way. That feeling took a long time to go away. It's SO hard to start at a new company. It's unbelievable how different office culture can be. Try to focus on all the ways things are better now, all the things you don't have to stress about anymore. I love you and I'm thinking about you!
That's funny about the taverns! I've wondered if there's any rhyme or reason to what "similar" posts they pull. I can see the parallel between anxiety and loose meat sandwiches ;)
ReplyDeleteUgh. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I figured if anyone could understand, it'd be you. I've always admired how you've been able to move to different towns - even after college how you moved to Rohnert Park. I think that takes a lot of inner strength to leave everything that's comfortable to pursue your goals. Anyhow, thanks for the kind words and I love you too, Sheri!
I know you are going to love this job. I'm really proud of you for making the move. You are experiencing a big change and now you are in a new environment with lots of people and things unknown to you. But with each new day in your new job, you will learn and know more and get to know your coworkers better and pretty soon, just like in the 3rd grade, the unknown things fall away and you'll find yourself comfortable again. Plus, I am always by your side, you are in my heart always.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me cry, Mom :)
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