The writing prompt for today asks me to tell you about my favorite place to blog. The short and long answer to this is: my couch. The only way to make this post more interesting is to also talk about coupons.
I had to kill some time today before an appointment and so, for whatever reason, I pulled out some coupons and gave them a gander. I never cut coupons. I had to go to the grocery store, though, and they were sitting there, so why the heck not.
I remember cutting coupons for my parents when I was little, but I don't recall them being as horrible as they are now. Every coupon requires you to buy three, four or five of whatever it is in order to save money. I mean, maybe it's because we're a household of two, but I don't know how we can save any money when we are buying double or triple what we actually need in order to save money. I get the idea is to stockpile food and eventually you'll save money, but jiminy christmas. I'd like to save $0.75 on tampons without having to buy 3 boxes.
Showing posts with label Remarkable Insights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Remarkable Insights. Show all posts
November 12, 2012
November 10, 2012
November 8 & 9 Q & A - Career and Changes
Always late, but worth the wait or so my license plate frame said in high school... or maybe that was a bumper sticker. Wait, maybe it was a keychain. All I remember is that I had something that said that on it.
So the writing prompt for last Thursday was:
If you could have any job (and instantly have the training and qualifications to do it), which job would you want?
What job would I want? That's a good one. I would honestly go back to school to make any of these a reality if I didn't already have a student loan the size of a car (mercedes) payment: interior designer, teacher, marriage and family therapist, or school counselor. I would also not mind going to law school, but that is not really part of the question. Just a random fact. Interestingly enough, I went to school for interior design for one or two semesters, and I am part way there for the other three... Oh, but the question stipulates that I instantly have the training and qualifications.
I think I need more creativity in my nine to five life so I suppose if I had to narrow it to one, I would say interior design. I'd like to work with colors, patterns, textiles, different floor plans, different styles and tastes. It would be like putting a puzzle together, and I think I'd like it very much. I stopped working toward it in school because I didn't care much about my own well being back then, just my loser boyfriend. My PSA to the young ladies of today would be: never sacrifice yourself!
On to the next question. It was from yesterday and goes a little something like this:
If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?
Aside from the obvious (having kids) I would say I would change my fear of flying. Just a short tidbit: Nick and I had a vacation planned this past September. We were going to go to Washington DC and New York. I got to the airport and cried. I didn't think I could do it. I battled between knowing that I would disappoint my husband if I didn't go and torturing myself if I did go. Flying to me is torture. That is the only way I can describe it. For my husband, I tried. We were the last ones to board the plane. I couldn't do it, though. I turned around and walked off the plane. In that moment, I just couldn't do it. My poor husband.
I'd really like to be able to go. I'd like to be able to fly. I'd like to not hold Nick back.
I have to go to LA in December for work (on my freaking birthday). I'm debating whether or not I should fly. I feel like I'm strong enough to do it. It's a short flight. But I know when I get to the airport, it will be a struggle, so I don't know why I would do that to myself. Agh! But, yes, I would take this fear away if I could. That is the one thing that I would change.
Boom. Questions answered.
So the writing prompt for last Thursday was:
If you could have any job (and instantly have the training and qualifications to do it), which job would you want?
What job would I want? That's a good one. I would honestly go back to school to make any of these a reality if I didn't already have a student loan the size of a car (mercedes) payment: interior designer, teacher, marriage and family therapist, or school counselor. I would also not mind going to law school, but that is not really part of the question. Just a random fact. Interestingly enough, I went to school for interior design for one or two semesters, and I am part way there for the other three... Oh, but the question stipulates that I instantly have the training and qualifications.
I think I need more creativity in my nine to five life so I suppose if I had to narrow it to one, I would say interior design. I'd like to work with colors, patterns, textiles, different floor plans, different styles and tastes. It would be like putting a puzzle together, and I think I'd like it very much. I stopped working toward it in school because I didn't care much about my own well being back then, just my loser boyfriend. My PSA to the young ladies of today would be: never sacrifice yourself!
On to the next question. It was from yesterday and goes a little something like this:
If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?
Aside from the obvious (having kids) I would say I would change my fear of flying. Just a short tidbit: Nick and I had a vacation planned this past September. We were going to go to Washington DC and New York. I got to the airport and cried. I didn't think I could do it. I battled between knowing that I would disappoint my husband if I didn't go and torturing myself if I did go. Flying to me is torture. That is the only way I can describe it. For my husband, I tried. We were the last ones to board the plane. I couldn't do it, though. I turned around and walked off the plane. In that moment, I just couldn't do it. My poor husband.
I'd really like to be able to go. I'd like to be able to fly. I'd like to not hold Nick back.
I have to go to LA in December for work (on my freaking birthday). I'm debating whether or not I should fly. I feel like I'm strong enough to do it. It's a short flight. But I know when I get to the airport, it will be a struggle, so I don't know why I would do that to myself. Agh! But, yes, I would take this fear away if I could. That is the one thing that I would change.
Boom. Questions answered.
November 7, 2012
November 7 Q & A - Um, No
Writing prompt for today:
Talk about the last compliment you received.
Oh, jeez, that would be very self-indulgent. Although, come to think of it, this whole blog is self-indulgent, right? And I guess what I am about to write about is self-indulgent as well, but whatever.
Like an idiot, I was listening to a radio show this morning with a couple of hosts that are clearly republicans. There are some segments of their show that I really enjoy, so I continue to listen. Also, I don't choose who I associate with based on their political preferences, and I can handle opposing viewpoints, so there's that too. One thing that has always bothered me about them, though, is that they espouse their personal ideas and opinions as if they are fact. Many of their listeners seem to have a difficult time making that distinction.
So people are calling today saying how upset they are that Obama was reelected, and I kid you not, many asked the talk show hosts what they should do. Should they leave the country? I'm not kidding. People wanted to know if they should move to a different country because they were so distraught that their candidate did not win.
Now, I get it. I literally told my husband yesterday, "Nick, I don't know what I'll do if Romney wins." To which he said something like, "life goes on" because my husband is not nearly as dramatic as I am. We all have our reasons for feeling the way we feel. For me, my heart would be sick knowing there was a man, a heartbeat away from the presidency, who refers to rape as a method of conception. Of course, there are other reasons, but I want to limit my obnoxiousness to the next paragraph and beyond.
One caller specifically called to ask the third host, a democrat, a question. Here is the question he posed to her: Since you're a liberal, when you have kids are you going to teach them to have responsibilities, do chores and earn their keep or are you going to give them handouts and give them whatever they want? He was serious. Because no liberals work, we all feel entitled to everything, and take handouts wherever we can get them, obviously. And these people are the same people who have the nerve to say that liberals are creating class warfare. It doesn't make sense to me. Callers, like the conservative hosts, were saying how liberals hate success; liberals resent successful people. Liberals will just continue not working and taking advantage of the successful people now that Obama has been reelected.
Let me tell you this - if you believe that the workforce is made up solely of republicans, you're an idiot. I'm sorry, but you are. I would like to be passive aggressive and suggest that maybe you're just misinformed, but I don't think that's the truth. If you truly think that all democrats sit on their asses taking handouts, feeling entitled, then you're a flipping ignoramous.
If you think that just because you've never needed a helping hand that no one else could ever possibly need one and be deserving of one, then I feel sorry for you. That way of thinking is very, very sad. It's important to keep in mind that one day, you'll be old. You'll probably be drawing on social security. Maybe you'll need medicare! Or, heaven forbid, something might happen to you in your 20s, 30s or 40s and you'll need to draw on state disability insurance. Or you might lose your job and have to collect unemployment insurance, temporarily, to help feed your family. Or you might experience age discrimination when you're older and won't be able to find a job lickety split. I could really go on and on, but my point is, dear radio hosts and callers, I think we should try putting ourselves in other people's shoes before making these broad generalizations.
Talk about the last compliment you received.
Oh, jeez, that would be very self-indulgent. Although, come to think of it, this whole blog is self-indulgent, right? And I guess what I am about to write about is self-indulgent as well, but whatever.
Like an idiot, I was listening to a radio show this morning with a couple of hosts that are clearly republicans. There are some segments of their show that I really enjoy, so I continue to listen. Also, I don't choose who I associate with based on their political preferences, and I can handle opposing viewpoints, so there's that too. One thing that has always bothered me about them, though, is that they espouse their personal ideas and opinions as if they are fact. Many of their listeners seem to have a difficult time making that distinction.
So people are calling today saying how upset they are that Obama was reelected, and I kid you not, many asked the talk show hosts what they should do. Should they leave the country? I'm not kidding. People wanted to know if they should move to a different country because they were so distraught that their candidate did not win.
Now, I get it. I literally told my husband yesterday, "Nick, I don't know what I'll do if Romney wins." To which he said something like, "life goes on" because my husband is not nearly as dramatic as I am. We all have our reasons for feeling the way we feel. For me, my heart would be sick knowing there was a man, a heartbeat away from the presidency, who refers to rape as a method of conception. Of course, there are other reasons, but I want to limit my obnoxiousness to the next paragraph and beyond.
One caller specifically called to ask the third host, a democrat, a question. Here is the question he posed to her: Since you're a liberal, when you have kids are you going to teach them to have responsibilities, do chores and earn their keep or are you going to give them handouts and give them whatever they want? He was serious. Because no liberals work, we all feel entitled to everything, and take handouts wherever we can get them, obviously. And these people are the same people who have the nerve to say that liberals are creating class warfare. It doesn't make sense to me. Callers, like the conservative hosts, were saying how liberals hate success; liberals resent successful people. Liberals will just continue not working and taking advantage of the successful people now that Obama has been reelected.
Let me tell you this - if you believe that the workforce is made up solely of republicans, you're an idiot. I'm sorry, but you are. I would like to be passive aggressive and suggest that maybe you're just misinformed, but I don't think that's the truth. If you truly think that all democrats sit on their asses taking handouts, feeling entitled, then you're a flipping ignoramous.
If you think that just because you've never needed a helping hand that no one else could ever possibly need one and be deserving of one, then I feel sorry for you. That way of thinking is very, very sad. It's important to keep in mind that one day, you'll be old. You'll probably be drawing on social security. Maybe you'll need medicare! Or, heaven forbid, something might happen to you in your 20s, 30s or 40s and you'll need to draw on state disability insurance. Or you might lose your job and have to collect unemployment insurance, temporarily, to help feed your family. Or you might experience age discrimination when you're older and won't be able to find a job lickety split. I could really go on and on, but my point is, dear radio hosts and callers, I think we should try putting ourselves in other people's shoes before making these broad generalizations.
November 6, 2012
November 6 Q & A - Winging It
I'd rather not answer the writing prompt for today (if you were the president of the United States, what would be your first act in office?). Instead, let me entertain you with this:
Doug, the angry squirrel
Moose, the reluctant cow
These were my Halloween boys. The costumes didn't stay on too long, but 10 minutes worth of giggles makes it worth it. I love my sweet little squirrel and silly ol' cow.
PS - Our pumpkins were stolen off of our front porch! How rude!
PPS - Does anyone watch New Girl? Remember the episode where Jess tried to play it off like she invented "How Rude" a la Stephanie Tanner from Full House? Anyone? That show is hilarious.
November 5, 2012
November 5 Q & A - Election
Writing prompt for today:
What are your thoughts about tomorrow's election?
Here's what I'll say: I hope that when all is said and done, the victor of the presidential election will have my parents' best interest in mind for the next four years. I hope that he will have my in-laws' best interest in mind, the rest of my family, my friends, my friends' families, my husband, people who are less fortunate that I am, women, gay people (or, as I like to call them: 'people'), the elderly, children, minorities, compassionate and open-minded people, Doug, Moose. I hope that he will not solely focus on what is best for older, white, affluent men. I think we need less of that and more of everything else.
What are your thoughts about tomorrow's election?
Here's what I'll say: I hope that when all is said and done, the victor of the presidential election will have my parents' best interest in mind for the next four years. I hope that he will have my in-laws' best interest in mind, the rest of my family, my friends, my friends' families, my husband, people who are less fortunate that I am, women, gay people (or, as I like to call them: 'people'), the elderly, children, minorities, compassionate and open-minded people, Doug, Moose. I hope that he will not solely focus on what is best for older, white, affluent men. I think we need less of that and more of everything else.
November 2, 2012
November 2 Q & A - Where to Live?
Writing prompt for today:
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
I've thought about this many times. If I could live anywhere, I think I'd choose somewhere along the central coast of California, like Pismo Beach. This general area has such a laid back vibe, which I like very much. Also, the scenery is to die for. I could totally deal with having to look at the Pacific Ocean every day. In fact, wherever I moved, I would have to have a view of that dang ocean. Can you imagine?
A second runner up would be San Francisco, but it would have to be in the China Beach area, in a ridiculously affluent neighborhood. I'm talking affluent as in views of the Golden Gate Bridge from your living room window. I'm talking affluent as in mucho, mucho dinero.
And, of course, just for shits and giggles, I'll throw in Sausalito.
Can you tell I haven't been out of California much? I do love it here, though.
Where would you live?
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
I've thought about this many times. If I could live anywhere, I think I'd choose somewhere along the central coast of California, like Pismo Beach. This general area has such a laid back vibe, which I like very much. Also, the scenery is to die for. I could totally deal with having to look at the Pacific Ocean every day. In fact, wherever I moved, I would have to have a view of that dang ocean. Can you imagine?
A second runner up would be San Francisco, but it would have to be in the China Beach area, in a ridiculously affluent neighborhood. I'm talking affluent as in views of the Golden Gate Bridge from your living room window. I'm talking affluent as in mucho, mucho dinero.
And, of course, just for shits and giggles, I'll throw in Sausalito.
Can you tell I haven't been out of California much? I do love it here, though.
Where would you live?
November 1, 2012
November 1 Q & A - Favorite Quote
I'm randomly back again. I have a lot to share from the past few months, but I don't feel like writing about any of that just yet. Rather, I came across writing prompts for the month of November, and it looks like fun! Yay, fun!
Before I get too much into it, though, it was brought to my attention that my blog has compatibility issues with Internet Explorer. Being that I only use Safari, I had no idea! And I have no idea how to fix it. I had been wanting to switch over to WordPress, so it seems like now is the perfect time. Or maybe not if I can fix this compatibility thing. I'm so indecisive. I guess my point is, if you read my blog on IE then I'm sorry everything has looked a mess. You have been so very polite for playing along this whole time; hopefully it will be fixed soon in one way or another.
But back to the point of this post. Here is the prompt for today:
Tell us your favorite quotation and why.
This kind of feels like deja vu. I might have written about this before, but I'm too lazy to check. In any case, what may have been my favorite quote before might not be my favorite quote now. That's the cool thing about quotes. Quotes have different meanings based on what you're going through at the moment. One of my all time favorite quotes is:
"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacle were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination." - Souza
There have been so many times in my life that I told myself my life would really start after this or after that. I think school is a perfect example. When I was in school, both times, I told myself how much greater things would be when I finished. Instead of enjoying my time learning, I looked forward to what was to come. But in reality, what came after was working full time and not using my degrees. Fun! And then there's the thought that when Nick and I have kids, as if that will ever happen, our life will really start. Which is just a stupid way to think.
This quote is a favorite because it's a constant reminder not to think like an idiot. I'm getting better, but I'm by no means there yet. Because wherever you go, there you are, right?
PS - Go Giants!
Before I get too much into it, though, it was brought to my attention that my blog has compatibility issues with Internet Explorer. Being that I only use Safari, I had no idea! And I have no idea how to fix it. I had been wanting to switch over to WordPress, so it seems like now is the perfect time. Or maybe not if I can fix this compatibility thing. I'm so indecisive. I guess my point is, if you read my blog on IE then I'm sorry everything has looked a mess. You have been so very polite for playing along this whole time; hopefully it will be fixed soon in one way or another.
But back to the point of this post. Here is the prompt for today:
Tell us your favorite quotation and why.
This kind of feels like deja vu. I might have written about this before, but I'm too lazy to check. In any case, what may have been my favorite quote before might not be my favorite quote now. That's the cool thing about quotes. Quotes have different meanings based on what you're going through at the moment. One of my all time favorite quotes is:
"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacle were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination." - Souza
(my Souza magnet)
There have been so many times in my life that I told myself my life would really start after this or after that. I think school is a perfect example. When I was in school, both times, I told myself how much greater things would be when I finished. Instead of enjoying my time learning, I looked forward to what was to come. But in reality, what came after was working full time and not using my degrees. Fun! And then there's the thought that when Nick and I have kids, as if that will ever happen, our life will really start. Which is just a stupid way to think.
This quote is a favorite because it's a constant reminder not to think like an idiot. I'm getting better, but I'm by no means there yet. Because wherever you go, there you are, right?
PS - Go Giants!
May 29, 2012
Red Velvet, Schmed Schmelvet
I have a confession. I hope you don't hold it against me.
Red velvet? Yeah, I just don't get it. It doesn't really taste like anything.
We had a BBQ today at work and someone brought red velvet cake. Everyone was like "ooooohhhh" and "yum" and "red velvet cake is so good." I gave it a go to be a good sport. Just like every other time before, though - nothing. I think my taste buds are deficient in being able to recognize what everyone else so lovingly lusts after. What is this flavor that we call red velvet?!?
Photo: Source
I know people think I am weird for loving such exotic flavors as banana, coconut and lemon. But I believe in equal opportunity. So, people, please tell me: what is it about red velvet?
May 20, 2012
Solar Eclipse of the Heart
The solar eclipse is a major news story here. The news station is at a local science museum interviewing a number of kids.
News reporter to little boy: Can you tell us what an eclipse is?
Little boy: An eclipse... um... an eclipse is where the sun... um, I mean the moon... it's where the moon covers the sun. It looks like a fingernail.
News reporter to another little boy: Tell us about the eclipse you're going to see today.
Other little boy: You... you can only see it in eastern Asia and the western United States, where I am. It's like a smiley face covering the sun.
News reporter: So you've really been reading up on this, huh?
News reporter to little girl: Why is the eclipse so special to you?
Little girl: It's just so beautiful. I mean, it's like, so beautiful. Honestly, it makes me want to be an astronaut.
Photo: Source
Apparently, people are having solar eclipse parties, too. The news station is on location at an eclipse party in Granite Bay where people are getting toasted, throwing back some margaritas and playing around with their pin-hole cameras. It's actually pretty funny, and I think I'm going to steal the idea the next time a solar eclipse rolls around.
Even Doug wanted in on the action.
Doug: Pawing at the back door.
Me: Can you let him out, Nick? He wants to go see the solar eclipse.
You had to be there.
News reporter to little boy: Can you tell us what an eclipse is?
Little boy: An eclipse... um... an eclipse is where the sun... um, I mean the moon... it's where the moon covers the sun. It looks like a fingernail.
News reporter to another little boy: Tell us about the eclipse you're going to see today.
Other little boy: You... you can only see it in eastern Asia and the western United States, where I am. It's like a smiley face covering the sun.
News reporter: So you've really been reading up on this, huh?
News reporter to little girl: Why is the eclipse so special to you?
Little girl: It's just so beautiful. I mean, it's like, so beautiful. Honestly, it makes me want to be an astronaut.
Apparently, people are having solar eclipse parties, too. The news station is on location at an eclipse party in Granite Bay where people are getting toasted, throwing back some margaritas and playing around with their pin-hole cameras. It's actually pretty funny, and I think I'm going to steal the idea the next time a solar eclipse rolls around.
Even Doug wanted in on the action.
Doug: Pawing at the back door.
Me: Can you let him out, Nick? He wants to go see the solar eclipse.
You had to be there.
March 27, 2012
Alive
Something dawned on me today:
I am alive.
I should back up. About a month ago I started a blog post and never published it. It went something like this:
Photo: Source
I am alive.
I should back up. About a month ago I started a blog post and never published it. It went something like this:
I've been in the mother-of-all-funks lately.
I have no desire to take care of myself. I have no desire to take care of my house. It's anyone's guess how I still manage to wear clean underwear on a daily basis. I'm sad all the time. I think I do a good job of hiding it, though. I am on the verge of tears all day, every day.
I usually cry on my way home from work. I have a somewhat lengthy commute home, so I have a lot of time to think about things. Music makes me cry. Don't even play This Year's Love by David Gray or I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz in my presence. It won't be pretty. I tried to start reading A Stolen Life by Jaycee Lee Dugard during my lunch break today. I had to stop at the dust jacket, because, you know, bawling uncontrollably at work is not all it's cracked up to be.
You can see why I didn't publish it. My mom would have taken it as a giant cry for help and would have called me in two seconds flat. Besides, I never finished it, so there's that, too.
In any case, I told myself today that I AM ALIVE. I might not be able to have babies and as soul-crushing as that may be, at least I am alive.
I am alive and can experience all the good things life has to offer. We've lost a few loved ones in the recent months. They can no longer spend time with their loved ones. They can no longer see their loved ones grow and flourish. They can no longer take advantage of all of the good things life has to offer. And here I am taking my life for granted.
Changing my thinking is not going to be automatic. Not knowing if we will ever have kids, with odds that are so stacked against us, is still devastating in a way most people will never be able to comprehend. I still cry easily. It's a very sensitive topic for me.
But if I can remind myself of this, of the fact that I am alive, I hope that it will be easier for me to cope and easier for me to enjoy all the good things.
March 17, 2012
A Couple of Things...
I wonder what it says about me when I go missing from my blog for a month and a half?
And I still owe you three days from January's photo-a-day challenge.
But what I really want to say is:
1. It's such a shame that David Gray's This Year's Love was played out on the worst season ever of The Bachelor. Such a goddamn shame. A waste, really. It's such a beautiful song.
2. I heard Tomorrow, a Silverchair song, on the radio the other day. It reminded me of middle school and how much I hated the lyric:
Which reminds me of other lyrics that I f-ing hate.
This one hurts my brain. How does NOBODY seldom make you feel a certain way? I just don't get it. Can someone explain it to me? I can understand if other people seldom make him feel this way or no one ever makes him feel this way, but how does NOBODY seldom make him feel this way? How are you seldom made to feel a certain way by nobody? I just don't fucking get it. I DON'T GET IT, and it hurts my brain to think about it.
And I still owe you three days from January's photo-a-day challenge.
But what I really want to say is:
1. It's such a shame that David Gray's This Year's Love was played out on the worst season ever of The Bachelor. Such a goddamn shame. A waste, really. It's such a beautiful song.
2. I heard Tomorrow, a Silverchair song, on the radio the other day. It reminded me of middle school and how much I hated the lyric:
"You say that money, isn't everything,
But I'd like to see you live without it."
Don't ask me why, but it always got under my skin.
Which reminds me of other lyrics that I f-ing hate.
"Me not working hard? Yeah right, picture that with a Kodak."
- Pitbull, Give Me Everything (Tonight)
My rule is that if I could have written the lyric, it sucks. (That's not entirely true considering I do love me some Britney Spears.)
This one takes the cake, though:
This one takes the cake, though:
"Nobody seldom made me feel the way that you do."
- Enrique Iglesias, Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)
This one hurts my brain. How does NOBODY seldom make you feel a certain way? I just don't get it. Can someone explain it to me? I can understand if other people seldom make him feel this way or no one ever makes him feel this way, but how does NOBODY seldom make him feel this way? How are you seldom made to feel a certain way by nobody? I just don't fucking get it. I DON'T GET IT, and it hurts my brain to think about it.
January 21, 2012
New
Lord knows I'm good at jinxing things, so I've avoided saying anything until now. (Spoiler alert: I'm not pregnant. This post is not about a pregnancy.) I started a new job this week. I wish I could say it's a library job, but it's not. It's just as well, though. I'm happy with the move that I made.
I was with my last company for seven years. One thing that I had forgotten was how it felt to be the new person. There's that slightly nervous, somewhat uncomfortable feeling you get when you're new to an organization. You don't know the people, you're not familiar with how the company operates, and you aren't sure if you're allowed to hang stuff on your office walls or if you have to ask someone to do it for you. This week I thought back to how it felt to move to California when I was in the third grade. Back then, I had the same feelings. Imagine being in a new school, in a new town, where there's fog and seagulls and multiplication tables, and everything is a great departure from what you're used to. In Arizona there's heat and clear skies and cactus. I truly felt like the odd man out in Sacramento. Albeit, my third grade transition was much more difficult and much more emotional; I cried a lot and I constantly wanted to be by my mom's side. This time, I still want to be by my mom's side, but I have the understanding that everything gets better. Everything gets easier. Everything gets more familiar and routine.
Starting something new has made me realize that as great as I thought I was with change, I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty adaptable. I can go with the flow and make the best of it. The feelings associated with the change are what surprised me. Sure, I knew I'd be nervous, but the uncomfortableness of it all caught me off guard. I realize now that I'm good with little changes, but sweeping, drastic changes probably aren't my forte. The challenge is to get over the new girl hump. And I can do it. It's just a matter of time, and I'm glad that I know that.
Photo: Source
I was with my last company for seven years. One thing that I had forgotten was how it felt to be the new person. There's that slightly nervous, somewhat uncomfortable feeling you get when you're new to an organization. You don't know the people, you're not familiar with how the company operates, and you aren't sure if you're allowed to hang stuff on your office walls or if you have to ask someone to do it for you. This week I thought back to how it felt to move to California when I was in the third grade. Back then, I had the same feelings. Imagine being in a new school, in a new town, where there's fog and seagulls and multiplication tables, and everything is a great departure from what you're used to. In Arizona there's heat and clear skies and cactus. I truly felt like the odd man out in Sacramento. Albeit, my third grade transition was much more difficult and much more emotional; I cried a lot and I constantly wanted to be by my mom's side. This time, I still want to be by my mom's side, but I have the understanding that everything gets better. Everything gets easier. Everything gets more familiar and routine.
Starting something new has made me realize that as great as I thought I was with change, I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty adaptable. I can go with the flow and make the best of it. The feelings associated with the change are what surprised me. Sure, I knew I'd be nervous, but the uncomfortableness of it all caught me off guard. I realize now that I'm good with little changes, but sweeping, drastic changes probably aren't my forte. The challenge is to get over the new girl hump. And I can do it. It's just a matter of time, and I'm glad that I know that.
January 3, 2012
New Year and Stuff
Happy new year 2012!
The other day, Nick and I had a conversation about the capitalization of new year. He asked me if it is capitalized. He was getting emails-a-plenty at work wishing him a happy new year and the capitalization between the emails was inconsistent. I told him it depends on how people are using it. If they're referring to the holiday (New Year's Day) then it is capitalized and if they are simply referring to the new year (i.e., 2012) then it is not capitalized. That is what I told him anyways, so whether or not it is true remains to be seen (I'm too lazy and don't really care enough to Google it).
In any case, you won't be reading about any resolutions from me. I sucked at it last year (here, here, and here) and there's really no hope for me this year. One of my resolutions last year was to live in the moment. I started out okay, but the whole trying to have a baby and can't thing really effed up my mojo. I do have things that I want to work on this year, but I don't know if I'll go as far as publicly declaring them. Who am I fooling? I probably will. But I won't call them resolutions. Mark my word.
Speaking of trying to have a baby, the Clomid didn't work and by "didn't work" I just mean that I am not pregnant. Go figure. What an asshole I was to say that I had a good feeling. The plan is to do IUI tomorrow. That is the plan for now, anyways. If that doesn't work then I will officially have a nervous breakdown followed by a deep, deep depression. I'm just kidding. Kind of. I always joke with myself that it's amazing I make it to work everyday. Because there are days when all I want to do is throw myself on the floor and cry about it. Or throw a serious tantrum. This is really sounding like a cry for help. I will just put it this way: unless you have experienced primary infertility, you can't understand the feelings associated with not knowing whether or not you'll ever be able to have kids. Because that is what it really boils down to. Trying to cope with the idea that we may never be parents when we so desperately want to be. That and knowing I'll never get to indoctrinate impressionable young minds with my liberal beliefs. It is a hard, hard pill to swallow.
And that, my friends, is something I need to work on this year... not letting this be all consuming and working on accepting the realization that maybe it's just not in the cards for us. So, woe is me. Seriously, though, I have so much to be happy about and to be thankful for. I hope good things are in store for us all in 2012. Minus the end of the world, of course!
Photo: Source
The other day, Nick and I had a conversation about the capitalization of new year. He asked me if it is capitalized. He was getting emails-a-plenty at work wishing him a happy new year and the capitalization between the emails was inconsistent. I told him it depends on how people are using it. If they're referring to the holiday (New Year's Day) then it is capitalized and if they are simply referring to the new year (i.e., 2012) then it is not capitalized. That is what I told him anyways, so whether or not it is true remains to be seen (I'm too lazy and don't really care enough to Google it).
In any case, you won't be reading about any resolutions from me. I sucked at it last year (here, here, and here) and there's really no hope for me this year. One of my resolutions last year was to live in the moment. I started out okay, but the whole trying to have a baby and can't thing really effed up my mojo. I do have things that I want to work on this year, but I don't know if I'll go as far as publicly declaring them. Who am I fooling? I probably will. But I won't call them resolutions. Mark my word.
Speaking of trying to have a baby, the Clomid didn't work and by "didn't work" I just mean that I am not pregnant. Go figure. What an asshole I was to say that I had a good feeling. The plan is to do IUI tomorrow. That is the plan for now, anyways. If that doesn't work then I will officially have a nervous breakdown followed by a deep, deep depression. I'm just kidding. Kind of. I always joke with myself that it's amazing I make it to work everyday. Because there are days when all I want to do is throw myself on the floor and cry about it. Or throw a serious tantrum. This is really sounding like a cry for help. I will just put it this way: unless you have experienced primary infertility, you can't understand the feelings associated with not knowing whether or not you'll ever be able to have kids. Because that is what it really boils down to. Trying to cope with the idea that we may never be parents when we so desperately want to be. That and knowing I'll never get to indoctrinate impressionable young minds with my liberal beliefs. It is a hard, hard pill to swallow.
And that, my friends, is something I need to work on this year... not letting this be all consuming and working on accepting the realization that maybe it's just not in the cards for us. So, woe is me. Seriously, though, I have so much to be happy about and to be thankful for. I hope good things are in store for us all in 2012. Minus the end of the world, of course!
November 30, 2011
Everyone is Fighting a Battle
Ugh. Read this post. It's heartbreaking. I can't even imagine.
This quote comes to mind:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato*
We're all fighting our own battles, right? It's like, people are fighting hard, hard battles every day. A neighbor might be struggling to find a job, a coworker might be fighting an addiction, or a clerk at the store might be grieving a loved one's death. And someone might be dealing with having a baby ripped from her arms. Most of us would never know these things about a stranger.
This world just works in the most mysterious ways, and stories like this remind me that everyone is going through something no matter how big or how small. Because, really, the magnitude of one's battle is relative. It reminds me that no matter how nice I think I am to people, I can always be nicer. Because maybe someone who is going through a hard time needs kindness from others, even from perfect strangers. You just never know.
*There is debate about who the quote should be attributed to (Plato, John Watson, others...). More on that here.
This quote comes to mind:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato*
We're all fighting our own battles, right? It's like, people are fighting hard, hard battles every day. A neighbor might be struggling to find a job, a coworker might be fighting an addiction, or a clerk at the store might be grieving a loved one's death. And someone might be dealing with having a baby ripped from her arms. Most of us would never know these things about a stranger.
This world just works in the most mysterious ways, and stories like this remind me that everyone is going through something no matter how big or how small. Because, really, the magnitude of one's battle is relative. It reminds me that no matter how nice I think I am to people, I can always be nicer. Because maybe someone who is going through a hard time needs kindness from others, even from perfect strangers. You just never know.
October 21, 2011
When Nobody Else Will
And so it was said.
By the way, does anyone else have Journey stuck in their head?
By the way, does anyone else have Journey stuck in their head?
September 21, 2011
September 7, 2011
Get Your Priorities Straight
Whenever I hear the saying, "never make someone a priority when all they do is make you an option," or some variation of it, I always stop and think.
I don't know if it's ingrained in women (some women, anyways) to do our best to make other people happy/feel special/know that they're loved or if it can just be chalked up to The Golden Rule. Whatever the case may be, I genuinely want to celebrate the people that I care about.
When I care about someone, I try my best to celebrate them. This doesn't happen out of obligation, but rather a true desire to want to be a part of someone's life in a meaningful way. Over the past couple of years, I've opened my eyes to the fact that this idea isn't always reciprocated. Generally, I don't believe in tit-for-tat relationships. I don't do things because I expect a favor or to be treated in a similar fashion in return. Reciprocity is never my motivation.
Photo Credit
It seems, though, that I'm guilty of focusing my time and attention on people who always make me an option. And this is just fine. By that, I mean it's OK that I'm not a top priority to everyone in my life. It's OK that certain people choose other people, places, and things over me. I'm guessing there are people who would say that I'm a picker and a chooser myself. But this is a lesson for me in that not all friends are true friends, and family, whether biological or inherited, can make the conscious decision to shit all over you at any moment in time. Understanding this concept has truly been a blessing, and - I say this with genuine sincerity because I know it sounds like I'm being a smart ass - I should be thanking the people in my life whose actions (or lack thereof) have helped me to come to this realization.
The way I can practice this philosophy in my own life is not through pettiness. It does not mean that if you're mean to me, I will be mean back or if you don't help me move, I won't help you move. To me, this saying means that I need to refocus my priorities. It means that I'll still treat everyone kindly and with respect, but I'll shift my time, love, and attention to people who truly love and care about me. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop caring about or celebrating certain people, it just means that those certain people don't need to be my priority. And that's OK.
I don't know if it's ingrained in women (some women, anyways) to do our best to make other people happy/feel special/know that they're loved or if it can just be chalked up to The Golden Rule. Whatever the case may be, I genuinely want to celebrate the people that I care about.
When I care about someone, I try my best to celebrate them. This doesn't happen out of obligation, but rather a true desire to want to be a part of someone's life in a meaningful way. Over the past couple of years, I've opened my eyes to the fact that this idea isn't always reciprocated. Generally, I don't believe in tit-for-tat relationships. I don't do things because I expect a favor or to be treated in a similar fashion in return. Reciprocity is never my motivation.
It seems, though, that I'm guilty of focusing my time and attention on people who always make me an option. And this is just fine. By that, I mean it's OK that I'm not a top priority to everyone in my life. It's OK that certain people choose other people, places, and things over me. I'm guessing there are people who would say that I'm a picker and a chooser myself. But this is a lesson for me in that not all friends are true friends, and family, whether biological or inherited, can make the conscious decision to shit all over you at any moment in time. Understanding this concept has truly been a blessing, and - I say this with genuine sincerity because I know it sounds like I'm being a smart ass - I should be thanking the people in my life whose actions (or lack thereof) have helped me to come to this realization.
The way I can practice this philosophy in my own life is not through pettiness. It does not mean that if you're mean to me, I will be mean back or if you don't help me move, I won't help you move. To me, this saying means that I need to refocus my priorities. It means that I'll still treat everyone kindly and with respect, but I'll shift my time, love, and attention to people who truly love and care about me. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop caring about or celebrating certain people, it just means that those certain people don't need to be my priority. And that's OK.
September 1, 2011
A Loving Indebtedness
Sometimes I'll have flashbacks to when I was younger. I'll sit and daydream as if I'm in a time warp. I'll think back to the time my mom pulled me across town in a red wagon to buy a leotard for my first gymnastics class. We were a one car family at the time, but that didn't stop my mom from trekking through the Arizona heat to make sure I had a cute purple and white striped leotard. I remember sitting in the wagon while my mom pulled me along. I can still hear the sound of the traffic whizzing by as we traveled along the sidewalk of the main thoroughfare. We walked and rolled from our house on West Grovers Avenue to Smitty's on West Bell Road. I must have been five years old then. It felt like we traveled across the face of the earth; now I know it was only a little over two miles.
When I was a little older we drove that same route to Smitty's in our trusty white Chevy station wagon. That station wagon had certainly seen better days. At some point the tan upholstery attached to the ceiling of the car began to sag and tear away. My mom made do by meticulously tacking the thin material back into place. She inserted flat, silver push pins in straight rows from the back of the car to the front. The rows seemed to be exactly parallel, and the tacks were spaced evenly from one tack to the next. I thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen. I liked to sit in the back of the station wagon with our groceries and use my fingernails to loosen the tacks and then quickly push them back in.
My parents would later drive our station wagon to California when we moved here in 1989. Oh, many a tear was shed when we moved from Arizona. We LOVED Arizona. Loved it. We loved our friends, we loved our school, we loved the cactus and the perpetual mirages on the hot Arizona pavement. But my parents did what they felt they had to do. They always did and they continued to do so long after we settled into our new life in the capital city.
I remember when Nick and I moved into our house four years ago. On our moving day I thought back to when my family moved into my parents' current house, a move that was almost 10 full years after arriving here in Sacramento. We moved in the middle of August in the sweltering central valley heat. I was completely miserable at the time because, one, moving sucks and, two, moving really effing sucks in August. My sad state led to too many self-administered breaks and complaining to no end. But my dad, he hauled box after box and every piece of furniture and household machinery we had without a peep. So when Nick and I moved into our first house, it hit me how much my parents had really sacrificed for us. Not because my dad didn't complain on that moving day, but because my parents lived their lives providing for their children without a peep.
As an adult, it's amazing to see how much my parents have sacrificed over the years for my brothers and I. They did everything they could to give us a lifestyle they didn't have growing up. Sometimes that meant working 60 hour weeks and sometimes that meant holding down a job that paid well, but lacked interest. Most of the time it meant both.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish I could give my parents some years back to travel the world or to take time to be really, really selfish. They don't know what that's like since they've had kids 34 out of the 35 years they've been married. Selfish isn't even in their vocabulary. I wish I could give them the relaxing, carefree lifestyle they deserve. I wish my mom could go do frivolous things like get pedicures on a whim or jump on a plane for a spa weekend with her girlfriends in Palm Springs. I wish my dad could go do whatever it is that men want to do that doesn't involve strippers or driving recklessly in a stolen roadster.
Right now, as their 35th wedding anniversary approaches, I can't give them any of these things. I can let them know that I get it. I get that they sacrificed their lives for us even though they never mentioned anything of the sort and even though they'd never call it sacrificing. But that's exactly what they did. My parents sacrificed their lives for us. All these fun memories remind me of how awesome my parents are, how much I love them, and how grateful I am that they're here on this earth. So while I can't repay them in the way I'd like, I can give them my time - something that we're learning is so incredibly precious - to reminisce on old memories and make new ones.
When I was a little older we drove that same route to Smitty's in our trusty white Chevy station wagon. That station wagon had certainly seen better days. At some point the tan upholstery attached to the ceiling of the car began to sag and tear away. My mom made do by meticulously tacking the thin material back into place. She inserted flat, silver push pins in straight rows from the back of the car to the front. The rows seemed to be exactly parallel, and the tacks were spaced evenly from one tack to the next. I thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen. I liked to sit in the back of the station wagon with our groceries and use my fingernails to loosen the tacks and then quickly push them back in.
My parents would later drive our station wagon to California when we moved here in 1989. Oh, many a tear was shed when we moved from Arizona. We LOVED Arizona. Loved it. We loved our friends, we loved our school, we loved the cactus and the perpetual mirages on the hot Arizona pavement. But my parents did what they felt they had to do. They always did and they continued to do so long after we settled into our new life in the capital city.
I remember when Nick and I moved into our house four years ago. On our moving day I thought back to when my family moved into my parents' current house, a move that was almost 10 full years after arriving here in Sacramento. We moved in the middle of August in the sweltering central valley heat. I was completely miserable at the time because, one, moving sucks and, two, moving really effing sucks in August. My sad state led to too many self-administered breaks and complaining to no end. But my dad, he hauled box after box and every piece of furniture and household machinery we had without a peep. So when Nick and I moved into our first house, it hit me how much my parents had really sacrificed for us. Not because my dad didn't complain on that moving day, but because my parents lived their lives providing for their children without a peep.
As an adult, it's amazing to see how much my parents have sacrificed over the years for my brothers and I. They did everything they could to give us a lifestyle they didn't have growing up. Sometimes that meant working 60 hour weeks and sometimes that meant holding down a job that paid well, but lacked interest. Most of the time it meant both.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish I could give my parents some years back to travel the world or to take time to be really, really selfish. They don't know what that's like since they've had kids 34 out of the 35 years they've been married. Selfish isn't even in their vocabulary. I wish I could give them the relaxing, carefree lifestyle they deserve. I wish my mom could go do frivolous things like get pedicures on a whim or jump on a plane for a spa weekend with her girlfriends in Palm Springs. I wish my dad could go do whatever it is that men want to do that doesn't involve strippers or driving recklessly in a stolen roadster.
Right now, as their 35th wedding anniversary approaches, I can't give them any of these things. I can let them know that I get it. I get that they sacrificed their lives for us even though they never mentioned anything of the sort and even though they'd never call it sacrificing. But that's exactly what they did. My parents sacrificed their lives for us. All these fun memories remind me of how awesome my parents are, how much I love them, and how grateful I am that they're here on this earth. So while I can't repay them in the way I'd like, I can give them my time - something that we're learning is so incredibly precious - to reminisce on old memories and make new ones.
May 2, 2011
Thank Goodness for Bumper Stickers
Image courtesy of Squid!
Image courtesy of Darwin Bell
January 25, 2011
Sensitivity Chips Are Cool
Honesty does not equal truth.
Honesty is a great thing. It really is. It's so much easier to be honest than it is to deal with deception. Lying takes too much time and energy. You have to keep up with who said what and worry about being caught. No thank you. I did my fair share of lying (as evidenced here) in high school and my mom (almost) always caught me, so take it from someone who knows. Besides, if I may be honest, honesty is just the right thing. It's the best policy, if you will.
My problem isn't with honesty, however. My problem is when people mistake their honest opinion or feelings for the truth. For example, take this scenario:
Person # 1 sees an acquaintance, Person # 2, at a public gathering. Person # 1, not quite impressed with Person # 2's attire, walks up to Person # 2 and says, "wow, what are you wearing? That's a pretty stupid outfit." Person # 2, with hurt feelings, reacts negatively to Person # 1's comment. Person # 1 is surprised at the reaction and explains, "what? I was just being honest."
I'm not even shitting you, this really happened. I didn't take this from an episode of What Not to Wear, either. This is real life. "What? I was just being honest," is an expression I hear semi-regularly, and I often wonder how some people can be missing their just-because-I-think-it-doesn't-mean-I-should-say-it filter. It kind of reminds me of when Jennifer Aniston said that Brad Pitt was missing a sensitivity chip. Yes, I did just go there. But it's the same idea, kind of.
What I'm really trying to say is, you don't have to say everything that pops into your brain. Just because you think it, doesn't mean it's the truth, a fact, or the gospel. At least think it over first because, "what? I was just being honest," is so played out. Common courtesy is so much cooler.
Honesty is a great thing. It really is. It's so much easier to be honest than it is to deal with deception. Lying takes too much time and energy. You have to keep up with who said what and worry about being caught. No thank you. I did my fair share of lying (as evidenced here) in high school and my mom (almost) always caught me, so take it from someone who knows. Besides, if I may be honest, honesty is just the right thing. It's the best policy, if you will.
My problem isn't with honesty, however. My problem is when people mistake their honest opinion or feelings for the truth. For example, take this scenario:
Person # 1 sees an acquaintance, Person # 2, at a public gathering. Person # 1, not quite impressed with Person # 2's attire, walks up to Person # 2 and says, "wow, what are you wearing? That's a pretty stupid outfit." Person # 2, with hurt feelings, reacts negatively to Person # 1's comment. Person # 1 is surprised at the reaction and explains, "what? I was just being honest."
Image courtesy of lism.
I'm not even shitting you, this really happened. I didn't take this from an episode of What Not to Wear, either. This is real life. "What? I was just being honest," is an expression I hear semi-regularly, and I often wonder how some people can be missing their just-because-I-think-it-doesn't-mean-I-should-say-it filter. It kind of reminds me of when Jennifer Aniston said that Brad Pitt was missing a sensitivity chip. Yes, I did just go there. But it's the same idea, kind of.
What I'm really trying to say is, you don't have to say everything that pops into your brain. Just because you think it, doesn't mean it's the truth, a fact, or the gospel. At least think it over first because, "what? I was just being honest," is so played out. Common courtesy is so much cooler.
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