Day 14: Something You're Reading

Day 14, January 14, 2012:

SOMETHING YOU'RE READING

I'm a rule breaker. I just finished this book, so get over it already.

(Doug was not happy there was a book in his food bowl.) 

People have been telling me how good The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein is for some time now. In fact, when I was in the waiting room just prior to my IUI, two people told me some variation of  "OMG, that book is soooo good." The funny thing is that I remember reading the book description when it was first released to paperback. At the time it didn't make it to my to-read list because the idea of car racing just didn't interest me. Sure, I LOVED Marley & Me, but this one? Eh, I'll pass.

But I was wrong. So wrong. If you never listen to anything else I say, please listen to this: run, don't walk, to go read this book.

What's not to love about this book? The Art of Racing in the Rain has a creative story line. It's narrated by a dog, which is totally unique, but the story is so much more than a discourse on Kibbles 'n Bits. Stein develops a story that leaves you hanging on the edge of your seat. He puts you through a whole gauntlet of emotions. I know it sounds cliche to say that I laughed and I cried, but I did. I laughed out loud, and I bawled my eyes out. It wasn't just that, though. I felt like I got punched in the stomach at one point. It was as if I had the wind knocked out of me. And the ending, oh the ending... It's expected on one hand and completely unexpected on the other hand. The ending is beautiful. It's magical. It's perfect. I'm just sorry I waited so long to read it.

Photo-A-Day Challenge: Day 1 - 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, Day 10, Day 11, Day 12, Day 13

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

I know I said I was taking a break from memoirs, but my name came up on the wait list for Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua, and I couldn't pass it up. Getting an email from the library, stating that a wait list book is ready to be picked up, feels like winning the lottery. So you can understand why I just had to go with that feeling.

The premise of Tiger Mother peaked my interest some time ago. Chua's focus is on parenting. Specifically, her story tries to convey why Chua believed - and I personally think still believes  - Chinese mothers are better parents than American parents. Chua tends to define parental success as a parent who has raised an  academically and musically gifted child. Perhaps she would include children who are gifted at chess or modern impressionist painting, but certainly not talented at, say, football or cheerleading. Chua, by her own definition then, is a successful parent. Her two daughters are academically and musically inclined. Her eldest daughter played piano at Carnegie Hall, for example, and her youngest daughter was somewhat of a violin prodigy. Chua suggests that a good number of people who are gifted in any of these capacities are the product of Chinese mothers or parents who parent like Chinese mothers.   

I'll begin by saying that this book is very self-indulgent. While I'm sure people may argue that memoirs are self-indulgent to begin with, this one is, at times, obnoxiously so. I've read articles (here and here) that have Chua claiming she was making fun of herself in Tiger Mother. In parts of the book, I can see that. It's very well disguised, though. After the fact, she kind of reminded me of Michelle Money in season 15 of The Bachelor. Michelle was very sarcastic and it came off as mean. Like, I think they had a group date at the zoo, and Michelle said she wished the gorillas would eat one of the other contestants, or something like that. And everyone thought Michelle was a royal bi-atch, but she really just had a dry sense of humor. So I can see that side of Chua. 

Chua kind of has the readers fooled into thinking that by the end of the book she is going to acquiesce and admit that one style isn't necessarily better than the other. On the front cover, even, we see this:

"This is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen year old."   

I don't want to blow the end for anyone, but I will say that, ultimately, I think Chua truly believes Chinese parenting is better than American parenting. And that is her right, of course. We all know that there isn't one style of parenting in America. I know a lot of Americans take offense to someone from another culture saying that they do something more effectively than them.  Personally, I don't agree with everything Chua says, and I don't hold her parenting style as the gold standard, but I think there is merit in some of her ideas and methods. One thing that really stood out to me was her view on self-esteem and not letting her kids quit at something because the task was hard or they weren't immediately good at it. Chua writes:     

           

"Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't."

And, so, if there's one thing that I will take away from this book it's Chua's view on fostering self-esteem. In my opinion, there's a lot of validity to it. 

The Help

The Help, a fictional account of three women's experiences with racism, prejudice, and discrimination in the south in the early 1960s, is a beautifully written novel by Kathryn Stockett. The story is narrated by three women: Aibileen and Minny, both black domestic maids to white families, and Skeeter, a recent graduate from Ole Miss and an aspiring journalist. Given the race relations in Jackson, Mississippi, where Skeeter lives, Skeeter has an idea to write a book from the help's perspective. Specifically, she wants to interview local black maids and incorporate their stories about working for white families into a book. While it takes some convincing from Skeeter and the occurrence of other events to help precipitate involvement in the project, a few maids secretly agree to tell Skeeter about their lives. Stockett masterfully weaves the stories of the three narrators together and intertwines each maid's story into a cohesive read.

I like this book. A lot. The Help is one of those novels that you just can't put down. I like it, first, because it's well-written, creative, and suspenseful. Second, I'm partial to the time period in which the book takes place. Race relations in the post-reconstruction era in the United States and the civil rights movement were always topics that held my interest in history class. To this day, I find this time period in our country's history ridiculously fascinating. Not because the issues surrounding race relations are fun and heartwarming, but because it boggles my mind how we could treat a whole population of people with such cruelty. How could we rationalize the Jim Crow laws? How could we think separate was equal? How could we justify assaulting people for the color of their skin? Torturing them? Killing them? It's so gross to me. And then we have people like Martin Luther King, Jr. who stood up to our country's bullshit.  What an amazing, inspirational, and courageous person Mr. King was. So you see, this book just really had me at hello.

I saw the movie, too. As with every movie based on a novel that I can think of (except The Notebook), in my opinion, the novel is better. That's not to say that the movie isn't good or worth seeing. I enjoyed the movie, but I know I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't read the book first. I don't even know if I can articulate why. I like the cast, and I think the acting was pretty good. The movie was mostly true to the novel. There were differences in the way certain parts played out, though. You'll have to read the book and see the movie to know what I'm talking about, but in the end I think it was the omission of the little things that felt off to me. It's like when Pepsi stopped using sugar and started using corn syrup. It's still Pepsi, and it tastes like Pepsi, but it's just not the same.          

Taking a Break from Memoirs

I think I'm getting bored with my reading. Don't get me wrong, I will forever and always love memoirs, and I love the books that I've been reading (like here and here). I just think I need to take a break from my beloved genre. I need something different. 

Some of my all-time favorite books are fiction. Like, I love, love, love I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb. I read it when I was attending Sac State. I remember wanting to eat, sleep, and breathe this book. I couldn't wait for the breaks between my classes so that I could head to the Student Union and read. It's probably not surprising to hear about my love for this book knowing that it's about a man and his schizophrenic twin brother. I think I was taking abnormal psychology at the time, and I was so impressed with the author's understanding of schizophrenia. Lamb had to have researched schizophrenia to the n-th degree because his depiction of the disorder seems so right on.

In fact, I have tons of fiction on my Amazon wish list. I use this list to keep track of the books I want to read. Some books I hope to read in the near future include:

Ghost World by Daniel Clowes 

(my first crack at a graphic novel)

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire 

(yes, I'm really late getting around to reading this one)

and...

Mini Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella 

(a guilty pleasure)

I'm really excited about my next read, though. I've been on the wait list for it at the library, and it's finally ready to be picked up: 

The Help by Kathryn Stockett 

(before I see the movie)

So those are my next reads, I think. What's on your list? 

The Girl's Guide to Homelessness

In The Girl's Guide to Homelessness, Brianna Karp documents her experience with homelessness after getting laid off from her full-time, seemingly stable job in 2008. She struggles to find a new job and ends up homeless, living in her deceased father's RV in a Walmart parking lot. Kind of as a joke, she starts a blog to document her experience.  It's through her blog and Twitter account that she begins a romantic relationship with a fellow advocate for the homeless. 

There are some relatively cool things that happen to Karp as a result of her blog and activism within the homeless community. I think these are some of the finer points of the book. I was somewhat disappointed that she focused so heavily on her blossoming relationship. I realize this is an unfair complaint given the integral role the romance plays in Karp's story. The twists and turns at the end of the book, as they pertain to her relationship, are horrifying yet interesting and suspenseful. At the same time, I wanted to hear more about how she survived as a young homeless woman in Southern California. I suppose I was hoping for a more literal translation of the title: "The Girl's Guide to Homelessness."

Aside from this, Karp makes some REALLY good points in her book. I tend to agree with her a lot with regards to how people perceive the homeless and the rights, or lack of rights, people think the homeless should have. Like, for example, the pervasive belief that homeless people shouldn't have cell phones or laptops. First, and Karp makes this point in her book, people rely on their cell phones for safety. The homeless are no different and I would argue are more susceptible to situations where they may very well need to make an emergency call. Also, if someone has the opportunity to keep their laptop after becoming homeless, I don't see how this hurts anyone else. Laptops are useful to, you know, look for employment. And even if they used it to look at porn instead of searching for a job, who cares? They're homeless.   

Devil in the Details

Understanding my obsession with memoirs and psychological disorders, my dear old friend recommended Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood by Jennifer Traig. She was so right on with this one. It's like a whole season of the A & E show Obsessed rolled into 242 pages. 

Traig recounts her childhood and adolescence with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Her OCD takes on many different forms including scrupulosity, trichotillomania, rumination, hypochondria, anorexia, fear of contamination and more. While this sounds like a pretty heavy read, Traig writes with such witty sarcasm and lightheartedness that you're laughing when she turns orange from her self-restricted diet of carrots and cantaloupe. I was honestly fascinated to know that someone with OCD can exhibit so many different forms of the disorder. Her symptoms run the gamut from one extreme to the next. It makes sense, but I just wasn't aware since Obsessed typically highlights only one form per person in each episode! I know I should be an expert in OCD given my undergrad degree in psychology and my Netflix addiction to Obsessed, but I'm not as perfect as I'd like to be. 

Another thing I really, really like about this book is Traig's writing. Her writing is so fluid. Her sentence structure and use of punctuation is awe inspiring. I'm not a perfect writer by any means. Even though I misplace commas, have run on sentences, and various other grammatical errors, I can recognize a good writer when I see one. As I was reading Devil in the Details I found myself excited by her use of well placed commas. "Now that's how you use a comma," I would think. It's not just a matter of having a good editor, either. What I see in Traig can't be strictly attributed to an editor. This chick just has some mad talent, yo.  

Can I also say that I can identify with Traig on a couple of different levels? Mostly, her experiences driving as a person with OCD struck a nerve. She talks about how if she sees someone on the sidewalk and drives by them, she fears she has run them over and circles back to make sure that she didn't. There's an episode of Obsessed where this guy does the same thing whenever he drives over speed bumps. He's afraid that it isn't really a speed bump, but rather a person. So he circles the parking lot to make sure. I've done this, and I'm hoping someone will chime in and admit to doing it too. Someone else besides me, Traig, and the guy on Obsessed have done this, right? Even though logically you know that you didn't run anyone over, you must pull over or go back to the scene of the crime to make sure. Right? Right?! 

Bitter is the New Black

Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass, or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office, a memoir by Jen Lancaster, documents the author’s experience in the recession after 9/11. Lancaster goes from a high-power, high salary position working for a dot-com corporation to standing in line at the unemployment office.  

I’ve had Bitter is the New Black on my to-read list for some time now. Judging by the subtitle, I thought it would be a funny and lighthearted read. As I started reading, though, I was completely horrified. Lancaster comes across as a complete bitch. I guess the subtitle suggests as much, but wow. When she says condescending, egomaniacal, and self-centered, she really means it. Within the first hundred pages or so, we’re tortured by her repulsively insensitive inner dialogue and her tendency to say whatever's on her mind. I particularly like how Lancaster handles herself at the airport when she feels like everyone is eavesdropping on her conversation:

"A sweaty fat man with an orange flowered vinyl bag has moved next to us to hear better. I whirl around to face him. 'Yo, Marlon Brando, yeah, with the ugly carry-on, move along. Also? Burn that bag when you get home.' I see an older woman with stop sign red hair pretending to tie her shoes. Perhaps if they weren't LOAFERS her ruse would be more credible. 'And you, Red? Aren't you old enough to know better? FYI, a six-dollar box of hair color is NOT a bargain...'"

Apparently, some people are a big fan of Lancaster’s blatant disregard for common courtesy.

On goodreads.com a reviewer writes, "I loved the author and rooted for her the whole time I read the book. I LOVE that she's a bitch and says things often without considering how it's going to make others feel..."

I find the idea that people are excited by verbal diarrhea to be completely strange. The whole, “I’m just being honest" thing will never make sense to me. It’s like, “Hey! It’s okay that I’m a complete asshole, because at least I’m being honest!” A lot of the reviews that I've read refer to Lancaster as "real" or "authentic." I've also read reviews that say, "People only call Lancaster a bitch because she's a woman" and, "She's just saying what everyone else is thinking." Since everyone loves that Lancaster is so honest, readers should be honest with themselves. People call her a bitch because she is one. There's nothing real or authentic about being rude and condescending and cutting other people down. 

And then I was ready to put the book down for good when she started running her mouth about people who claim unemployment benefits. After getting laid off, Lancaster’s boyfriend asks her if she is going to file for unemployment. She responds, “I’m not a deadbeat. I’m not about to suck on the government’s teat.” She goes on to say that the Republican party would disown her if she was on unemployment. The reader learns that she is completely ignorant to the fact that workers pay into unemployment insurance by way of payroll deduction. Lancaster, surprised by this revelation from her boyfriend asks, “You’re saying it’s not welfare?” Although I think Lancaster's misconception about unemployment is shared by many, it's no excuse. Rather than judge and call other people names, learn how the system works or just keep your mouth shut.  

I had to talk myself into continuing reading at this point. Part of me didn’t want to have anything to do with supporting a complete asshole. The other part of me, however, the part that won out, hoped that by the end of the book Lancaster would be a changed woman. I didn’t hold my breath, though.

Lancaster struggles for over a year trying to find a new job, losing her beloved apartment, and even her health insurance. She, for the most part, learns to laugh at herself instead of others. I found myself snickering as she relived her experience temping as an administrative assistant. She's treated like a complete moron despite her education and experience, but it's par for the course for temps. Her experience with unemployment is completely relevant to what is going on right now. If people can't relate to the first half of the book, the second half may very well ring true. Unemployment and even underemployment is a bitch, and this book is a great lesson on why people who live inside bubbles shouldn't judge. I'd like to believe that this was Lancaster's intent all along...      

Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison

A memoir about a woman's experience in prison? It's like this book was written just for me. You already know that I love memoirs (here and here), but I also have a strange fascination with prison. Everything about prison is interesting from group segregation and prisoner backgrounds to the institution's day-to-day operations and ingenuity of crafting a toothbrush into a shank. I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about applying for correctional librarianship positions. I frequently revisit the idea, but I know my parents and husband would be in a constant state of worry. Mom, dad, and Nick, I'm saving you from massive daily anxiety - you're welcome.

It was really hard for me to put this book down. I'm surprised I was able to go to work, even. All I wanted to do was read. I have a love/hate relationship with all-consuming books since, you know, I have a life and everything. Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison by Piper Kerman was worth it. The intriguing story justified the mountain of dirty clothes, unswept floors, and stacks of crusty dishes. In the end, you've got to do what you've got to do.

After graduating from Smith College, Kerman waits tables at a microbrewery. She finds herself yearning for excitement and adventure, but is not sure how to establish a life that is different from what she has always known. She watches as friends get exciting job offers and move across the country.  This only deepens her desire to create a new life for herself.

Although she doesn't realize it at first, excitement and adventure find her. Through mutual friends, she meets Nora, a drug smuggling kingpin with international connections and a penchant for taking risks. Nora offers a lifestyle of spontaneity and travel, and Kerman becomes wrapped up in everything that Nora embodies. She has no direct involvement in Nora's underground business until one day Nora, in a pinch, asks Kerman for a favor that changes the course of Kerman's life forever.

Years later, after ending her relationship with Nora and beginning a new life, Kerman is convicted of money laundering and sentenced to serve time at the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury, Connecticut. Orange is the New Black details Kerman's time in Danbury, the friendships that she makes, and the tools she uses to cope while serving her sentence. This book is emotional and thought-provoking. Kerman's story got me thinking about the laws we have in place for convicting and incarcerating non-violent drug offenders. It's probably not a topic we all give much thought to, but her ordeal makes me question why, especially in an economy like this, we spend billions of dollars to imprison people like Kerman.            

If this hasn't tickled your fancy, Kerman's writing will.  Check out an excerpt of Orange is the New Black here, and then go pick up a copy for yourself.    

Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

So... I'm not even going to lie or back date this post. Remember when I said that I was going to read one book per month and then blog about it? Well, I half-way met my goal. I did, in fact, read a book in September. I just never blogged about it. Call it laziness, call it being flaky, or call it the life of a working woman/full-time student/caretaker to Doug and Moose, but please don't call me a book hater. That would just be mean.

My read for September was Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robison. Nick discovered this book during one of our strolls through a bookstore. Knowing my love for memoirs and for all things psychology (i.e., interesting), he held it in front of my face and said, "how 'bout this?" It was a perfect match.

As the title suggests, Look Me in the Eye tells Robison's story growing up with Asperger's. Asperger's Syndrome is a spectrum disorder which, for the sake of brevity, I will say is a milder form of Autism. Like Autism, however, one can be diagnosed as high-functioning or low-functioning. In this case, Robison admits to being high-functioning, but this is not to say that a high-functioning diagnosis made his life any easier... especially considering he went without a diagnosis for the first 40 years of his life.

From his childhood, the reader can see Robison's struggle reading social cues and expressing socially expected emotions. Where others perceived his expressions as inappropriate or lacking empathy, his behaviors were highly characteristic of an individual with Asperger's. Nonetheless, these "abnormalities" posed difficulties for Robison in the realm of friendships, relationships, and social interaction. Often times they caused confusion and ultimately, alienation. Growing up with an alcoholic dad and mentally disturbed mom did not help Robison's symptoms; however, he showed savant-like qualities and, after dropping out of high school, parlayed his knowledge of electronics into some dream careers (touring the country with KISS, anyone?).

Robison acknowledges his struggle with humor so it's no wonder why his book invokes uproarious laughter. He talks about trying to befriend other children at school using the techniques his mother taught him to make nice with the family dog... by petting the kids. He shares his need to rename people so that he can remember faces. He deems his brother's name, Chris, insufficient and renames him Snort. As Chris grows up he renames him Varmint. As Chris becomes an adult Robison simply refers to him as Hey or My Brother. While these characteristics aren't meant to be funny, Robison's writing will have a reader believing they are laughing with him rather than at him.

Oh, and perhaps you've read Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs? They're talking about the same family... they're brothers.

Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously

My goal is to read one book per month. While this does not sound overly ambitious right now, I know that when school starts back up it might be a stretch. I love to read though which is why I set this goal in the first place. I am going to try my very best to make it happen.

I can scratch my August 09 book off of the list now that I finished reading Julie & Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously. I was inspired to read this after I heard the premise of the movie. A secretary, unhappy in her job, concocts a plan to cook all of the recipes in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Her goal is to finish this in one year’s time and to blog about her misadventures along the way. The secretary, in this case, is the author, Julie Powell. Anyone who knows me knows that I love memoirs. So, not only was the premise intriguing, but also the notion that the story was true. Yeah! Another memoir. I was in heaven to know this would be my next read!

See? This nerd really would rather read than fish...

I am not quite sure that Julie & Julia requires a synopsis more elaborate than the aforementioned, but if I can gently persuade someone to read this by providing more insight then, by all means, I must divulge:

Working as a temp in New York City has proven to be particularly unsatisfying for Julie Powell. Although hired on as a secretary with a governmental agency, she cannot shake the desire to calm her obsessive energies with something more substantial than being the office peon. Together with her supportive husband Eric, the two devise a plan, later coined the Julie/Julia Project, to occupy Julie’s spare time. The project involves pumping out 524 Julia Child recipes from one iconic cookbook and documenting the trials, tribulations, and triumphs on a blog. With support from her family, friends, and bleaders (her affectionate name for her loyal blog readers) Julie accomplishes more than she ever thought possible.

Powell’s writing is incredibly hilarious. Hilarious, that is, if you enjoy potty-mouths. Being that I appreciate the occasional f-word in my leisurely reads, I found myself laughing out loud. From her accounts of her time spent working in an office full of republicans (as one of the few democrats) to her experiences mutilating lobsters, Powell tells a funny, yet inspirational story. Yes, that's right. Julie & Julia is inspirational. Not inspirational in Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love leave-your-husband-to-go-find-yourself sort of way, but in a way that encourages cultivating one’s passion.

I look forward to reading Powell's follow up book which is also a memoir. Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession is slated for release is December 2009. Christmas present anyone?